My Coach My Coach why hast thou forsaken ME!

Okay I know it's risky to compare Stephanie to Jesus and me to God but here goes....

In the historical account of Jesus life we find that he arrives on the scene with humble beginnings. He is not part of the elite and privileged of the day. He does however posses the knowledge and wisdom to teach us the way humanity was intended to operate. In the end he is hung on a cross by the same people he loved and tried to teach. In the very end he cries out My God My God why have you forsaken me. And then he says it is finished.

I sat in the volleyball awards banquet the other night listening to Stephanies coach give out awards for the different players. With each player she would say a little something about their playing abilities and what they meant to the team. The last player to be mentioned was Stephanie (which didn't suprise me shes been last on the list all year) Her coach talked about Stephanies great attitude and how her knowledge of the game was a help to the team. She never mentioned the fact that the only time they beat Calvin Christisan Stephanie was in the rotation all five games. Or how Stephanie stepped in and played for the other girl who had supposedly broken her thumb.

I caught a small glimpse of what God must have felt when Jesus had to face us humans. It was devastating to see your child overlooked, underappreciated, and basically ignored. The girl that Steph was in line to replace at one point had a bad thumb and pulled groin. She couldn't move more than a 3' radius. Other girls were stepping in front of her to make the plays. There were parents in the stands yelling to put Steph in her place but it didn't help. Stephanie was the only senior that didn't get a chance to play during conference and districts. Meanwhile the girl that couldn't move played all the way through.

I remember in the meeting I had with the coach and the A.D. It was told to me then that she needed to be ready to play her best when she was called on. She got that opportunity at Calvin. (See previous blog Rudy gets a chance) As soon as the other girl was able to play Stephanie was back to sitting at the end of the bench never to be heard from again.

Just like Jesus Stephanie didn't come from one of the chosen families and hadn;t played her junior year due to injury. She wasn't one of the coaches chosen players. She had the skills and the knowledge but was ignored the whole season.

I realize I sound like a angry and frustated parent (which I am) but I am not the only one who saw the blatant unjust treatment. Deb and I had most every parent come to us and tell us it wasn't fair how steph was treated. I had a player and her mother stop me in the hall at a tournament and tell me what a great job Steph was doing. The player looked at me and said "Steph should be getting to play before me!"

Stephanie always (publicly) kept a positive attitude and truly loved her teamates. We as parents got to see the true devastation on the way home from games or tournaments when she would sit the bench all day long while other players with less skill and knowledge got to play in front of her. Her biggest question was Why....It still seems to be her biggest question. This is the last sport she plays in her senior year. It is finished....

The Ressurection

Jesus of course rose from the dead three days later. That is why we call him our savior and serve out his teachings with all our hearts.

Stephanie is still in the tomb wondering if it was all worth the dedicated effort. There were not alot of good life lessons to be gained here. I am concerned for Stephanies sense of self worth lately. Life is hitting her pretty hard lately. We as parents are always encouraging her but we're her parents. Secretly I was hopeing the coach had left Steph for last during the banquet so she could publicly apologize to her. (I feel she is owed that)

Lessons to Learn

I have sent an invitation to the coach and athletic director to read this blog. While I realize it is to late to help Stephanie, it's not to late for someone else. If one of you are reading this I would beg you to remember the kids and families that are involved. I would ask that you treat them with respect and make them feel like they are a valuable part of the team. At the very least keep the lines of communication open. Especially to the ones that aren't the star chosen.

Dillusional or Dissapointed

During the club volleyball season last year we were in a tournament in Indianapolis. Stephanie was at the top of her game. She was always in position whether it was to be there for a tip or be back for a spike. She just seemed to be running on all cylinders that day. During one of the breaks she was approached by a coach from a small private college in Indiana. She asked Steph what her plans were after high school. Steph told her she wasn't going to college right away and that ws pretty much the end of it. I say all this to say Dissapointment would be the proper term.